My one and only New Year Resolution for 2014: To love myself more.
Loving myself doesn’t necessarily mean indulging myself. But it certain means staying in-tuned with my feelings and true needs—by listening to the inner child and attending to her needs.
At the same time, it means to stop setting myself up for the constant, daily disappointments that result from expectations.
I realize that all my life, I have, like many others, formed very specific expectations of the people around me, especially those I consider to be the closest, those who have a “label” or “role” in terms of my relationship with them—friends, family members, lovers, etc. All of those expectations come from social conditioning—that a husband “should” behave like this, a daughter “should” act like that, your best friend “should” do this and that.
A lot of times it is a very rational equation—each relationship “should” fall into a specific pattern in order for a person to be happy. It is all too conditional.
I have been told that expectations would only lead to disappointment. Easy to say! But finally, I have just had a moment of awakening. I seem to have truly understood the wisdom of non-attachment. It is when you stop expecting anything from people—especially those you consider to be the “closest”—and measuring their behavior with society’s preconceived notions, that you can finally feel a sense of freedom, self-contentment and self-sufficiency. Why? Because then you are not exposing yourself to constant disappointments when others fall short of your expectations. Because the only person you can rely on for your true happiness is you yourself. Nobody else can do this for you.