Video

The Gluten Song

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Releasing “The Gluten Song”:

Lyrics written by me, music composed and performed by my husband. This is our first collaboration on a poetry recitation with original music, on a health theme that we both care about—gluten.

Enjoy and let me know what you think!

You love it fluffy, honey
You love it chewy, baby
It smells so good at the bakery
Hmmm…. those yummy bread and pastry!

Into the white fancy dough you bite
Your smile radiates ecstasy
The gluten has invaded, so easy!
Wracking havoc in your intestine

Gluten, gluten, what is it in Latin?
No other word than glue!
Keep your daily bread, go ahead!
Eat cake while you’re blue

“Just love that modern poison
That makes me hooked, like opium
It can’t possibly be bad
It must be you who are mad!”

Gluten, gluten, what is it in Latin?
Glue….. glam…. good……………..
Swimming in the mental fog
Can’t tell the difference anymore

© Text: Louisa Lust (a.k.a. Louisa Hansen)
© Music: FrediX

Healthy Eating for a Busy Life

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Eating healthy requires quite a bit of work. From grocery shopping to washing, chopping and cooking, every step takes time—something a busy working person might find to be a burden. Most of my friends who have once been inspired to eat more healthily, got discouraged when they realized how much time and energy it would take to prepare meals for themselves day in and day out.

The food culture where I live, Hong Kong, has stooped to such a level that I dare to say that the majority of the people do not take charge of what they put into their mouth. We are what we eat, hence, I see trouble down the road with their health.

Domestic helpers are a norm in this society. They do the grocery shopping and cooking on top of cleaning and taking care of kids and pets. Now, one would be lucky enough to get a helper who is good at cooking. To find one who knows about the nutritional value and how that translates into physical health would be like finding a needle in a haystack.

If one doesn’t have a domestic helper, no worries. There will always be a cheap fast food joint around the corner that caters to a Hong Konger’s East-meets-West taste. Of course, if one is better off, one can find a gourmet restaurant in just about any spot, and visit one every day.

Another option is that mama mia would cook for live-at-home children, including adult children.

In neither of the three cases is real nutritional knowledge injected into the dishes. One might say the third option is better. Sure. But the Chinese traditional dishes do not always produce disease-free people. There are a lot of flaws in a tradition that has gone through thousands of years and not necessarily evolved with time. There is a general lack of science and discrimination, not to mention the safety issues with food from China.

Anyway, what I’m trying to get at, is that there is a way to “eat right” (for your type) and still able able to fit that into a busy life. It’s all about planning and, yes, work. But this work can be fun too. Why not think of food prep as alchemy? Or painting with colorful raw ingredients?

Let’s have a look at how I paint with healthy ingredients that are right for my blood type and genotype and how I prepare meals in batches so I can get through my busy work week with a breeze:

Weekly Morning Shake

Morning protein shake mixtures consisting of Protein Powder for Type “O”, goji berries, apricot kernals, Trehalose, flaxseeds, chia seeds, hemp seeds and choline.

Salad stored in mason jars is kept fresh through the whole week.

Salad stored in mason jars keep its freshness throughout the week.

A big pot of ratatouille customized for my type, to be served alongside meat/fish dishes during the week; a big pot of red wine lamb stew with root vegetables.

A big pot of ratatouille customized for my type, to be served alongside meat/fish dishes during the week; a big pot of red wine lamb stew with root vegetables.

Free range chicken broth with parsnip, pumpkin, carrots, onion and ginger.

Free range chicken broth with parsnip, pumpkin, carrots, onion and ginger.

Pre-mixed breakfast protein and pre-chopped salad in mason jars are great ideas for rushed mornings. All I need to do to prepare breakfast is to cut up two or three pieces of beneficial fruits, dump them into the blender along with the protein mix and some water et voilà!

When I head off to work, I just grab one of those mason jars and a can of wild-caught deep sea fish, an egg or some left-over dinner for lunch.

As for dinner, which is often pretty rushed for me as I need to go to my ballet training in the evening, I still get to have a nice, sit-down casserole with a baked grassfed steak and ratatouille, or a bowl of chicken broth or lamb stew. I often supplement these dishes with at least 2 cups of steamed organic green-leaf veggies.

I call these “fast food with dense nutritional value.”

Typically I devote a full day over the weekend for the bulk of my food prep for the following week. When there is an “overflow” of food, I just freeze it in mason jars. This is very handy as I can then thaw the food on days when I’m too busy to cook.

Lust can cook. So can you.

My Pictorial Food Diary

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Blueberry, pineapple and banana shake (L); mango, banana and grapefruit shake (R)

Blueberry, pineapple and banana shake (L); mango, banana and grapefruit shake (R)

As you know, I follow the SWAMI diet (simply put, a personalized diet designed based on my specific genetic and blood type information). Some of you have wondered what my diet is like on a typical day. Here is a pictorial display of my food diary:

For breakfast, a protein shake consisting of three medium fruit, Protein powder for Type “O”, Trehalose, goji berries, apricot kernels and a bunch of seeds high in protein content and omega fatty acids: hemp seeds, chia seeds and flax seeds.

I’d usually have a mid-morning snack as this shake usually lasts me for about three hours and I drink it rather early. My snack can be a few beneficial nuts like walnuts, pecans, macadamia nuts, pine nuts, plus seeds like pumpkin seeds. I always soak my nuts and seeds overnight and dehydrate them at low temp (~50C) in the oven before consuming them. This gets rid of the phytic acid that coats the nuts, which impairs the absorption of minerals and other useful nutrients from the nuts. I like to add some raisins, dried blueberries and goji berries to make a trail mix. It is easy to grab a handful at work. When I’m home, I would make a rice cake toast, spread it with almond butter and top it with a sunnyside-up egg. I like to drink green tea, especially genmaicha, for this mid-morning snack.

Heart-shaped sunnyside-up free-range egg on top of a toasted organic brown rice cake spread with raw almond butter; served with a blend of genmaicha and matcha.

Heart-shaped sunnyside-up free-range egg on top of a toasted organic brown rice cake spread with raw almond butter; served with a blend of genmaicha and matcha.

Soaked and dried walnuts and peacans

Soaked and dried walnuts, pecans and pumpkin seeds

For lunch, I usually have about 3-4 cups of salad, plus some form of protein–usually 2-3 oz of wild-caught deep-sea fish like sockeye salmon, sardines and tuna. Given that these types of fishes aren’t available locally, I can only indulge myself in the canned versions. Still, it’s better to eat those than heavy metal-ladden local fish. Sometimes I would add some nuts and seeds, and sometimes I would eat a bit of Manchego cheese–a sheep’s milk cheese from Spain, which is a beneficial dairy for me–one of only a few allowable cheeses for my type. I would also eat omelet with or without fillings, about twice a week. I fry it in ghee, which is highly beneficial for my digestive function.

Salad with Edible Flower

Salad with lettuce, purple carrot,cherry tomatoes and edible flower

Salad with lettuce, radish, silver dollar mushrooms, haricots verts, carrots, walnuts, sesame seeds, raw garlic, Manchego cheese, served with extra virgin olive oil and ume vinegar

Salad with lettuce, radish, silver dollar mushrooms, haricots verts, carrots, walnuts, sesame seeds, goji berries, raw garlic, Manchego cheese, served with extra virgin olive oil and ume vinegar

Locally grown organic vegetable salad

Locally grown organic vegetable salad

Salad with tomato halves topped with mazzarella cheese and sprinkled with oregano

Salad with tomato halves topped with mazzarella cheese and sprinkled with oregano

Tuna-filled omelet pan-fried with ghee, served with salad

Tuna-filled omelet pan-fried with ghee, served with salad

After lunch, I usually don’t have any “afternoon lull” like I used to in the old days when I ate meat and rice or some other starchy food. The combination of animal protein and starch is really a killer for my energy. So I avoid this as much as possible.

But it is still nice to have a kind of “pick-me-up” in the afternoon. Since I cannot drink coffee or any caffeinated drink, I opt for Yerba Maté, a South American indigenous herbal drink that contains mateine for the energizing function minus the negative effects of caffeine on me. I like to drink it in a traditional gourd and a bamboo straw, and add a piece of 100% chocolate, which happens to be a “Diamond Food” for me :-)

Yerba maté tea with dark chocolate

Yerba maté tea with dark chocolate

Comes dinner time, I’ll have my cooked meat and veggies. Here is a variety of beneficial dinner options for me:

Grass-fed rib eye steak served with asparagus, endive, sweet potato purré and red onion

Grass-fed rib eye steak served with asparagus, endive, sweet potato purré and red onion

Baked New Zealand lamb rack with fresh rosemary from my garden

Baked New Zealand lamb rack with fresh rosemary from my garden

Baked French rabbit leg with fresh rosemary and butternut squash

Baked rabbit leg with fresh rosemary and butternut squash

Pan-fried salmon fillet with okra, broccoli, kai-lan and red onion

Pan-fried organic salmon fillet with okra, broccoli, kai-lan and red onion

Brown rice macaroni with minced lamb, shredded carrots, zucchini, beet, chopped onion and garlic, tomato sauce

Brown rice macaroni with minced lamb, shredded carrots, zucchini, beet, chopped onion and garlic, tomato sauce

Bone broth with free-range chicken, carrots, parsnip, sweet potato and pumpkin

Bone broth with free-range chicken, carrots, parsnip, sweet potato and pumpkin

Baked free-range chicken wings marinated in "fake soy sauce", served with soaked brown rice with saffron, cardamom and cloves and steamed Swiss chard

Baked free-range chicken wings marinated in “fake soy sauce,” served with soaked brown rice cooked with saffron, cardamom and cloves and steamed Swiss chard

Black cod served with veggies

Black cod served with veggies

Lamb belly with bones, stewed in red wine and root veggies

Lamb belly with bones, stewed in red wine and root veggies

Pumpkin soup without cream and with ginger, turmeric and sea salt, garnished with slivered almond

Pumpkin soup without cream and with ginger, turmeric and sea salt, garnished with slivered almond

My own version of ratatouille without the eggplant: zucchini, red bell pepper, carrot, parsnip, okra, haricots verts, onion, garlic, tomato, basil, rosemary, oregano, cayenne pepper, paprika, sea salt

My own version of ratatouille without the eggplant: zucchini, red bell pepper, carrot, parsnip, okra, haricots verts, onion, garlic, tomato, basil, rosemary, oregano, coriander seeds, cardamom, bay leaves, cayenne pepper, paprika, sea salt

Venison steak with asparagus and okra

Venison steak with asparagus, enoki mushrooms and okra

After dinner, I usually would have a cup of herbal tea, with hibiscus flowers, dandelion leaves and elderberries.

I guess I could have a bit more variations for my breakfast and lunch. I actually plan on adding more warm food like soup to my diet, as I was told by a friend’s daughter, who is studying Traditional Chinese Medicine, that this would help reduce the “dampness” in my system and help circulation and detoxification. Let me give it a try!

2012 in Review: Dreams, Healing and Miracles

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2012 flew by in a blink of the eye, yet I feel I had savored each delicious moment better than ever before in my life. Not that it was all sweet and crunchy. More like sweet, sour and bitter! But that complexity of taste made me feel so…. ALIVE!

The beginning of the year was perhaps the lowest point, starting by a slow recovery from a depressive and suicidal episode followed by burn-out and hormonal imbalance. Had a lonesome 40th birthday but things started to look more interesting afterwards, because I quickly adopted the concept of not expecting anything, thus not getting disappointed. I knew about it all along. My husband taught me this concept ever since Day 1. But it took me that many years to actually internalize and practice it.

For a woman, turning 40 is a daunting thought. Popular media have us believe that that’s the beginning of a downhill ride in terms of beauty, vibrancy and sexual appeal. Well, I’m glad I subscribe to the F=Fabulous idea! In my case, fabulous is an internal state. I feel more and more comfortable in my own skin, and care less and less about my external appearance.

Surely, I’ve had my share of physical challenges. Being in a perimenopausal state contributed to my weight gain. Signs of aging showed their heads. A strand of gray hair here, another there. They seemed to have popped up overnight. My farsightedness deteriorated rapidly. But other than these, I generally feel fine, thanks to the discipline I have in following the Genotype/Blood Type Diet.

Came Spring, my life was thrown upside down, inside out when we moved to the countryside, plunging right into a kind of village life that we had never experienced before. There were tremendous challenges in the beginning–problems with the landlord, hiccups with moving furniture into the house, influx of insects, severe water leakage, quarrels with inconsiderate neighbors, noise from the “dog farm” downstairs, sightings of deadly snakes… the list goes on. Yet the delight and magic of country living was beyond our wildest dreams: symphonies of a thousand birds in the morning, fresh air and easy access to the ocean, wonders of wild life including feral cattle grazing in our backyard, the possibility of tending a little garden on the rooftop, and absolute silence…. silence that is so rare in this “gluttery” city called Hong Kong.

Cow-Family

In this environment, I have been able to enjoy a life that is conducive to my healing. When the weather was warm, I would start my morning on the roof, doing some stretching, drinking my protein and fruit shake, doing some spiritual reading (mostly vedic literature and works by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi) while listening to the birds. Sometimes I would have lunch al fresco on the roof, too, despite the immense subtropical heat. Oh, how I love to sunbathe! I would then meditate with my husband.

SK-Panorama

In the afternoon, my husband and I liked to walk on the rocky beach half immersed in water. Sometimes we discovered a distant island or a virgin creek, as if we had plunged into a hidden paradise. This we did over the long months of summer, every day. The sunshine and minerals in the sea did so much good to our bodies.

Blue-Sky-Day

In the afternoon, when I enjoy my Yerba Mate and dark chocolate, I would be studying Sanskrit alphabets and grammar. What a joy to study something that I truly wanted to, instead of being forced to learn something other people want you to! And in the evening I would do my work on the computer, then call it a night, to be woken up by the sweet chirping of birds in the morning. No need for alarm clocks.

On July 13th, with the witness of a local fisherman we befriended, we passed our 10th wedding anniversary by the seashore. No extravagant celebration. Just a tranquil, blissful existence.

Such an idyllic life. Until one day, in the middle of the summer, my job called and gave me the worst news of the year: I was to be laid off along with all my colleagues! It was the most terrible blow! The prospect of becoming jobless was devastating. We were just starting a new life here. We were counting on the fact that I could work from home, and still earn a full-time salary, in order to stay where we are.

I plunged into depression for a whole month, weighed down with worries. The memory of being jobless (numerous times in my life) immediately sent chills down my back. I remembered vividly how we had to survive on instant noodles every single day while both I and hubby were jobless in Sweden. In hindsight I have understood how this period had put my body into entropy, all that wheat and MSGs and no real nutrients. So the prospect of not being able to sustain our lives, let alone in a wholesome way, was dismal.

In August, the axe fell, and I was officially jobless. The good news was, I got a severance package that would allow us to survive for a little while longer. So my mood lifted, and I decided to give myself a little break from worries.

I kept going to ballet class three times a week, enjoying immensely the teaching of my Russian ballet teacher. Gradually, I see my technique improve, while learning new stuff that I never had a chance to learn when studying under the RAD system. I was so relieved not to have to be surrounded by talks of exams all the time. At the Russian Ballet School, I need only to focus on learning step by step, without worrying about superfluous things like competing with other adults in exams. The Russian method is systematic, rigorous and the choreography very beautiful. I know that this is exactly what I had been searching for in the past five years. What a marvelous fulfillment of my dreams.

As soon as my jobless period started, I took the opportunity to begin a series of healing modules. While the Blood Type/Genotype diet has helped me a great deal in improving my health, I felt that diet alone would not help me totally heal from my fibroids and ovarian cysts. I read a while ago about German New Medicine, and found out that specific traumas in our lives cause a particular part of our brain to react, which in turn affect a related organ and cause cancer/tumors. I was quite shocked to find out that about the correlation between the trauma I experienced with my father’s cancer and death and the growth of an ovarian cyst on the left side.

I realized that in order to heal completely, one must go deep into the psyche and subconscious to deal with the root issues that have blocked healing in the first place.

With the recommendation of an online friend, I went to learn BodyTalk Access, an energy healing technique, which I have used for maintenance of good health and for effective first-aid whenever I hit or sprang myself. Also, when I do the whole Access sequence, I feel much more “together” and it helps me be more coordinated and less prone to injury when I do ballet.

Another type of treatment I went for was BioResonance. A friend of mine in Switzerland who treats people using a BioResonance machine introduced this method to me. I learned that each substance, may it be food, chemistry, dust or bacteria, has a frequency of its own, and depending on your body’s own frequency, it may react positively or negatively at various degrees to the substance. The machine can neutralize the frequency so that the substance does not pose any harm to the body. I went for a test and found that a lot of the substances that I knew were no good for me (like the “avoid” foods under the Blood Type/Genotype Diets) were indeed confirmed to react negatively to my body’s frequency. There were a few that were tested to be OK for me, even though they are “avoids.” But I got mostly confirmations of the choices that I had already made, especially on avoiding gluten, corn and dairy products. I am not exactly sure how much effect the treatment had on me because I was doing all these other modules like the ones described below (but I was too impatient to test the modules one by one!).

A very important part of my healing journey was reading the book “Healing Code.” I began a very intense, deep healing through clearing my “heart junks” and correcting all the erroneous beliefs that I have carried with me all my life. The process was transformational–miraculous in some instances, and totally turned around my relationships with other people, particularly the ones I’m closest to (I will write about the Healing Code in more detail later on).

The premise of the code is that all problems in our lives, whether physical, financial or relationship-wise, are caused by stress–a large part of it is subconscious and unconscious, stored as cellular memory in the form of images. Only by working with the heart issues–spiritual ones–can we have a chance to heal from the deepest level.

I cannot rave enough about the Healing Code. I introduced it to my best friend, who was faced with an emotional and mid-life crisis like I was, but in a totally different context. Anyway, she told me that after reading the book and doing the code on herself, she was cured of her eczema and insomnia in two days. Even her doctor was amazed!

Because doing the code allowed me to see much more clearly what I really want, I naturally began to realize what I don’t want. During the jobless period, I applied for a few jobs and went for some interviews. Although there were a few offers from seemingly attractive jobs, I declined, as my heart was telling me these jobs were not what my heart desired. After a long search of about 4 months, I finally landed on a job that fits all my heart’s desires–close to home, a non-aggressive environment, a good level of freedom and independence, nice coworkers, and a very decent salary. You may call it a miracle. But in my heart of hearts, I have known all along that I would get a job that fulfills my wishes, as I had been truthful in my choices. Of course, my ultimate dream is to work for myself, serving people with my expertise and passion, and not to have to go to an office from 9 to 6. But like Mike Dooley has taught, the job you have can serve as a springboard to something greater, much greater. So just “get on with it and work!”

After I had been doing the Healing Code about over a month, I was introduced to the “Master Key” by the same author of the “Healing Code,” Dr. Alex Lloyd. This is another healing module that works in a different way, like a master key that opens all the various doors that block the healing process. I have now been doing that for more than 40 days, supplemented by Custom-Guide Codes offered through teleseminars. The effect of this is amazing. I am still trying to assess it but the latest thing that happened to me, was that I had a super detox after my last period, and my fibroids seem to have become much smaller. Well, at least the loss of 8 pounds in a week seem to signal some intense cleansing having taken place.

Now it’s the end of the year, well, it’s actually past the end of the Mayan Calendar, and we are still around :-) Things seem to be intensifying. I believe that humanity is entering a new phase–a rapid shift in consciousness. Pure consciousness is ultimately what all living beings are made of, and it shapes our reality from moment to moment. As we enter a new phase in human history, let it be our own personal turning point as well. Let love, light and truth guide and heal our hearts ♥♥♥

My Health Journey (Part 2): The ‘Right’ Food as Medicine

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I realized it has been almost a year since I wrote my last blog! How did the year go by? Well, I’m glad to say it didn’t pass by in vain. I have made tremendous self-discovery since my birthday in January, both in terms of the spiritual and physical aspects of my health.

First of all, let me back up a little. In my last entry on my health journey, I mentioned the Blood Type Diet. For me, getting on the BTD train is like hitting the jackpot, as it has resolved most of my ailments since I was a teenager, particularly digestive problems and allergies.

Seeing that it worked so well, I went deeper into finding out my Secretor status. In the majority of the world’s population, blood type characteristics (antigens) not only show up in the blood cells but also in bodily secretions such as saliva and sweat. This actually partly serves to protect the body against certain infectious diseases. There is a minority population who does not have this natural protection and they are known as “non-secretors.” I found out, through a simple saliva test sent to a lab in America, that I am a non-secretor, or “nonnie.” This shed new light on my hyper sensitivity to certain food and environmental irritants.

According to Dr. Peter D’Adamo, who discovered the importance of the secretor status in relation to our health: “Your secretor status drastically alters the carbohydrates present in your body fluids and secretions in addition to several important aspects of your metabolism and resistance. These factors include the activity of an enzyme called intestinal alkaline phosphatase, the overall composition of bacteria in your intestinal ecosystem, your propensities toward blood clotting, your level of carbohydrate tolerance, and your resistance to certain parasites and yeast.

In addition to allowing important diet refinements, knowing your secretor status can help you use nutritional supplements more effectively and intelligently and add to your awareness of illness and metabolic dysfunction you may be prone to because of your secretor genetics.”

Knowing my status, I was thus able to fine-tune my food intake based on the latest database of food values here:
Blood Type Diet/ Nutrient Value Encyclopedia

My body started to feel better and better, especially in the digestion department. Then I went from knowing my secretor status to understanding my Genotype. Genotype is a different approach to find out how your particular genetic make-up influences your health, and how by eating and exercising according to what is best for your type, you can effectively switch on the “good” genes and switch off the “bad” ones.

Reading “Change Your Genetic Destiny” , I found out that I am a “Hunter.” I am most suitable to eat very lean animal protein, do rigorous exercises frequently and minimize my carb intake. As I am also close to being an “Explorer,” I am most sensitive to environmental toxins such as chemicals. I used a software called “SWAMI” to help me come up with a personalized diet plan that includes “Superfoods” (divided into “Diamonds” and “Beneficials”), which, when eaten frequently, would help to cure diseases and strengthen my immune defense; “Neutral” foods, which I can enjoy occasionally but would not act like medicine; and “Avoids,” which are like toxins to my body. Within the “Avoids” category, there are “Black Dots,” which are foods I should avoid for six months’ “washout period.”

The pleasant surprise was that I got a few food items back, which were “forbidden” in the Blood Type Diet. Among them are certain hard cheeses—Manchego (sheep’s milk cheese) and Romano. I also get butter and ghee (clarified butter) as “Beneficials”.

As type O’s should strictly avoid all dairy products, these “Bennies” give me great delight. In fact, these dairy products help to “correct digestive imbalance by restricting the carbohydrates available to intestinal bacteria and yeast. Only the carbohydrates that are well absorbed are included so that intestinal bacteria have nothing to feed on. This helps to correct the bacterial overgrowth and the related mucus and toxin production.”

Most of the foods on this personalized diet plan are “right on.” What I mean is that when I consume the “Diamonds” and “Beneficials,” my body feels so good. But when I eat the “Avoids,” I get problems, either in the form of poor digestion, mucous/sinus problems, skin rashes or weight gain–not to mention the hidden damages that don’t show up immediately. And amazingly, the list confirms the suspicions I had for those foods that had always given me troubles in the past.

Seeing how amazing the SWAMI diet is, I have been faithfully following it for more than three years now. About a year ago I even got a professional version of SWAMI through Dr. Ginger Nash, a naturopathic doctor who is well familiar with Dr. D’Adamo’s diet principles. She has helped guide me to further fine-tune my diet and prescribed homeopathic combination solutions for my hormonal imbalances. I have seen good results by following her advice.

I have so much more to share in terms of health discoveries, and I hope I’ll have the time and inspiration to write a few more entries before the end of the year ;-)

Life Begins at Forty

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Life begins at forty… and I have just begun to live all over again.

~ American psychologist Walter Pitkin, adopted and expanded by Russian American Vaudeville singer Sophie Tucker [see origin of this saying]

Today is my 40th birthday. Instead of feeling like it’s an event of a single day, I have been experiencing it as a process…

As I approach the fourth decade of my life, I find the following transitions taking place:

I am feeling more comfortable in my own skin. Yes, the skin has more age spots and scars than before; it is drying and starting to sag a little, ha ha, but I treasure more what’s underneath :-) .

I no longer feel compelled to conform—even if it means I’m an odd ball being ridiculed by everybody. Well, I have often felt like I’m the black sheep in any group. Ok, ok, even if I’m a black sheep I am still a sheep. But I think I can actually like myself for being a black one.

I laugh at my own follies. Oscar Wilde said, “Life is too short to be taken seriously.” All my youth I had been too serious. Now it’s time to play and laugh more again.

I feel comfortable about saying “no” and setting boundaries. No more guilty feelings when I stand up for my own rights and privacy. And yes, that includes saying “No” to my own mother.

Self preservation has become my priority under stressful situations. I refuse to label this “selfish.” Remember what you always see in the safety instructions before you take off on an airplane? Adults are instructed to wear the oxygen mask before they put them on their children. Well, the same principle applies to our lives! As a female in a patriarchal society, where traditional concepts like “saving the best for the older and the male members of the family” have been ingrained in my brain since childhood, I have always put my self interest behind everybody else’s, as I have such an immense respect for people around me—but I lost sight of my own needs, to my own detriment. I’m determined not to let a senseless “tradition” govern my life anymore.

I follow my heart and not worry about what others think or how they’ll criticize me. I have quoted Eleanor Roosevelt before but I’d like to quote her again: “Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you will be criticized anyway.” Yeah! WTF!

I no longer do nice things for people just for the sake of gaining their approvals. I do nice things when I feel inspired or compelled by my Spirit. If I don’t, it doesn’t mean I’m not a nice person. I know my worth enough not to have to bend over backwards all the time.

I don’t change myself for someone to please them or for fear of losing them. If they don’t appreciate the way I am, I wouldn’t insist on holding on to the relationship.

I’m more relaxed about all of life’s imperfections. I am beginning to feel OK about a blemish here or there. I try not to fret about them. If I fuck up, I know there is always a chance for me to pick myself up and try, try again. People always say that “we are only human; none of us are perfect.” Ultimately, I believe that we are all born perfect in every sense. The idea of failure is man-made and self-imposed. The fact that we are all here on earth in this life time together is a grand and perfect experience in and of itself. We just need to remember that everything is as it should be. If we open our mind’s eye, we can see the Creator’s infinite glory unfolding in a million different ways.

I appreciate order in my head more than order in my physical space. Being a clean freak, this is not easy. I have learned to up my threshold for chaos. Even Einstein is known to have a super chaotic desk! Not that a clean and tiny space doesn’t matter. It does. My spiritual guru, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, has been quoted to have said: “Angels don’t like dust!” It’s just that if I have to choose from being stressed out to being dust-free, I now opt for the former. There is always a tomorrow to do the clean up. Mañana!

If I don’t get everything done the way I had planned it, I don’t get frazzled and feel like a failure anymore.  In fact, I don’t plan my day very much at all. This way, I will not be rushing from one thing to another with no time to breathe, and more spontaneity will spring forth.

I select the thoughts that allow me to grow and thrive. It doesn’t mean I see everything through rose-colored glasses. But I try to exercise creative thinking, using the power of intention to paint my present and future. I am no longer a chronic complainer. Complaints are like cancer. They eat at the core of my being. It’s better to do without them.

I allow others to be who they are and go along their own paths in their own pace. This does not come easy. It is one area in my life that I need to work on the most. You can say I am somewhat a control freak in this regard. That’s because I care about people so much that I’d like them to see what I see, and do what I do, too! But over the years, I have understood that each person has their own paths and move in a difference pace as well. If I insist on only my way, then I’m bound to be disappointed.  When I let go, and allow others to bloom in their own timing, we have a harmonious garden of flowers and greens, with all different colors, sizes and shapes.

Inner beauty is more important that outer beauty. This sounds so much like a cliché, but I didn’t truly appreciate that until I entered perimenopause recently and found this excess fat around my waist, dry skin on my limbs, wrinkles around my eyes and my lips. Having once regained a slim and youthful body just a while ago thanks to the new way of eating I adopted in my late 30’s–and admired myself for that—I have to readjust to the new me in the mirror. I gradually come to accept the “imperfections” in my body. I try to do mirror work à la Louise Hay. I look into the mirror, embrace my own image with a smile, and say, with a sense of unconditional love and approval: “I love you. I really really love you!” Instead of dreading the aging process, I am gradually starting to appreciate the evolution of myself from the “I” who defined myself by what I have and do, to the “I” with inner strength, a “longer view” and an ever-expanding internal landscape of spiritual growth and enlightenment. I enjoy the process of discovering my authentic self a little bit more every day.

Happy birthday to me today. I enjoy the richness that 40 years of life have given me thus far, and look forward to the richer years that are yet to come! I love myself, and I extend that love to all of humanity!

Now, let’s enjoy this song/poem on the beautiful age of 40:
“Life Begins at Forty” by Sophie Tucker

My Health Journey (Part 1): Putting Two and Two Together

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Growing up in an artistic family, I never quite associate myself as a rational or scientifically minded person. But strange enough, today I find an equal affiliation to what stimulates my left brain as what inspires its right half. Perhaps it’s not so strange after all. In high school, I had enjoyed biology more than any other subject, except for art and English literature. But getting a lower score in it than all my other subjects in the high school exam was enough to deter me from pursuing science any further. I consciously avoided all hard core science subjects at college and chose courses the likes of “Physics for Poets” to wing my way through graduation.

Well, that was a long-winded introduction to what I’m going to write about today. Actually, the theme is simple. It’s about putting two and two together. It seems to be a predominant occupation of my mind in the past two years, ever since my body started to give me signs that it is falling apart one way or another. In fact, the more I think, the further along in my life I can trace the sources of my woes. It’s like playing detective to find the culprits for your bad health. It’s not been easy, but believe it or not, I am actually grateful for having been diagnosed with two large fibroids and an ovarian cyst the summer of 2009, when I came back from visiting my cancer-ridden father in New York.

I was in total shock upon the diagnoses. One fibroid was about 15cm and another was 5cm. The cyst measured 5cm and was later on deemed to be benign. Whew, no cancer–my worst fear after having been on the battle field with my dad when he struggled with his acute leukemia. At that time the ultrasound scans also showed that I had very fibrocystic breasts.

After the initial shock, I went to see a few specialists to get their opinions. All of them suggested surgery. One of them promised he would do a good job using minimally invasive technique. Another one said that due to the fact that the larger of the two tumors is stuck to the back of my uterine wall, there could be a lot of blood loss during the abdominal surgery. He recommended a few shots of lupron, a synthetic female hormone that would put my body into sudden menopause and make me very depressed. The reason for this shot is to shrink the fibroids somewhat so as to minimize the possibility of blood loss. Now, this was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. Having been clinically depressed in my 20′s, the prospect of an artificially induced menopause and depression was absolutely frightening! No way, José!

Since then, I started researching alternative ways of treating fibroids. There turned out to be tons of materials on the Web. I started learning all about the possible causes such as estrogen dominance due to a number of factors, including eating estrogenic food and being exposed to environmental toxins that are known as “xenoestrogens,” i.e. chemicals and substances that mimick estrogen once they enter the body. When there is too much estrogen in the female body, the estrogen/progesterone ratio is out of balance, leading to all kinds of gynecological problems like fibroids, polycystic ovarian syndrome, cysts and fibrocystic breast and breast cancer.

Further research led me to the book “What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause” by Dr. John Lee, who specializes in female hormones throughout premenopausal and menopause years. It was another shock to me when I found that that women can be in premenopause around 10 years prior to the onset of menopause. Judging from the severe PMS I had prior to my fibroid diagnosis, I definitely have been in premenopause since my early 30s! In fact, I realized that I was diagnosed with a “myom” in Sweden when I was around 33 years old. The doctor said it was only 3cm and nothing to worry about. Just monitor it every year. She made it such a small deal that I very quickly forgot about it. Two years ago, I put the first “two and two” together. “Myom” is the Swedish word for myoma, the medical name for uterine fibroids. So the small myom had developed into two huge fibroids! How come all these yearly gynecological exams didn’t alert me (or the doctor) of their existence?

More and more “2+2″ popped up, as I read about how dairy products, simple carbs, especially wheat flour and sugar, the lack of Vitamin D/sunshine, all contributed to my condition. Sure enough, my diet in Sweden was mainly made up of these foods (especially that whole year eating instant noodles every day due to being jobless and broke), and I sorely lacked sunshine all year round.

The connection between fibroids and nutrition (or the lack thereof) reminded me of a book that I got as a gift from a classmate some time ago. It is a book about acid/alkaline diet, “The pH Miracle,” which I never read. Suddenly I got interested and devoured it in one setting. Boy oh boy, I was in another round of shock! The content made me so depressed, as it seemed like everything I ate up until then was highly acidic. How would I be able to make sure I get the perfect acid-alkaline balance? After that book I read at least two more books on the subject and looked up numerous sources online, only to find countless conflicts in whether a food is considered acid or alkaline-forming. The only way, of course, was to find out by eating the food and see how each type made me feel. I was told that white cheeses are alkaline, so I tried a different type of white cheese every week. But it made me sicker. I was also told that yogurt is alkaline-forming. So I ate that together with some oat granola for breakfast. I got a stomach ache afterwards but somehow I kept this “wholesome” habit for months!

After the acid-alkaline episode, which got me into a dead end, I started reading other books on food and health.

My best friend gave me a Chinese book written by a Taiwanese author, Dr. Tom Wu, who wrote about phytonutrients from fruits and veggies and how all kinds of diseases, including cancer, can be cured by blending juices and drinking several glasses all day long. In fact, he tells the story of how he cured himself of lung cancer using this method. I followed his instructions closely and spent at least an hour every morning preparing vegetables and fruits for blending. I also added psyllium husk to help “sweep toxins down the colon.” My bowel movements were not a pretty sight, I can tell you that!

But after some half a year I read about the scam that surrounded this so-called doctor, revealed by his own son. Apparently this doctor has a very small practice in California and has faked all his naturopathic qualifications. All he has been trying to sell, besides his book, is the Vitamix blender!

Oh well, so much for medical integrity! This story gives me a lesson: not all people with the “Dr.” title can be trusted.

At about the same time, I also read the infamous “China Study” by Colin Campbell, who proposes a vegetable-based diet as the panacea of all ills. This was some months after I got myself into the raw food and vegan diet, having read a whole bunch of online material on the raw food movement. It was not easy at first, having been an omnivore my whole life. Besides, as a Chinese person, I naturally prefer warm and cooked food. Initially the raw food vegan diet made me feel light. I gained tremendous energy from it. Eating out was a pain as nothing raw and vegan was available in any restaurants. I had to abstain from eating during social occasions. I remember feeling cold all the time. That winter was especially tough, as we had unusually cold temperatures. I was shaking all the time. Then I remember coming home from work totally exhausted, so much so that I hardly had any energy to walk up the stairs.

Worse still, I even learned about the “Master Cleanse” and decided to go fasting on my own. It was in November, not a good time to fast due to the cold weather. I went ahead anyway, and spent 10 days without “real food.” I drank copious amounts of water mixed with cayenne pepper, lemon juice and maple syrup. Sometimes I really could not stand the hunger, so I munched on things that were totally junk, like potato chips and nuts that turned out to be very hard on my digestion, e.g. cashew and Brazil nuts, because they gave me some fat, which my body was craving. Anyway, despite the initial weak feeling, I managed to eat less and less toward the end of my fast and felt “energized” and cleansed. My skin cleared up and seemed to glow. I lost some pounds and looked slimmer than ever. I loved the new flat tummy, which I had lost since my 20′s. I had a record number of bowel movements, up to seven a day on some days. And I believe I even expelled some parasites! I was so proud of the “detox” that I had accomplished.

Two months later, I had a dizzy spell. It lasted for two hours straight. I had to take a sick leave from work because it was so bad I couldn’t do a thing! This happened one more time before I realized something very wrong was going on in my body. It was not until later that I realize I had anemia.

Later on when reading “50 Secrets of the World’s Longest Living People“, I came across the Blood Type Diet by Dr. Peter D’Adamo. I was instantly intrigued. Wait a minute, I thought, hadn’t I heard about the connection between food and blood type before? Sure, it was in that book by the Taiwanese “doctor” where I first read about the connection. That “doctor” probably stole the information from Dr. D’Adamo. In any case, I got curious. “Perhaps there is something to it,” I thought. Reading half way through the “50 Secrets,” I was ready to give up, as each culture the book mentions seems to thrive on different kinds of food. To me, the book simply presented too many food choices, so many that it made me feel like I had to eat all those foods suggested in order to achieve longevity. It didn’t quite make sense to me. I didn’t want to spend all my waking hours looking for these power foods!

The concept of a diet based on different blood types, on the other hand, really “clicked” with me. It sounded more “selective.” I immediately purchased “Eat Right 4 Your Type” and finished it in one “gulp”! How interesting to read about the anthropological background of the four blood types and to find out that I, being a Type O, have hunters and gatherers as ancestors, whereas my husband, a Type A, has farmers as ancestors!

The part about the right kind of diet for my blood type was right on, as I recognized how the foods in the “Avoid” category affected me physically, making me feel ill one way or another. For example, I’m not supposed to have dairy products–no wonder the yogurt in my breakfast, which my then naturopathic doctor said was “excellent”–gave me stomach aches. And the book made me realize that my severe pollen and later dust allergy in the past was a result of having consumed dairy products–a habit I picked up after moving to the States and living in Wisconsin, the “Dairy State,” of all places!

Later on I also found out that I’m not supposed to have oat. The combination of oat granola and yogurt was therefore a big no-no! There are a number of other details, such as alfalfa, cashew and brazil nuts being “Avoids.” These were new food in my diet during the raw-vegan period, but I was eating quite a lot of them and spending much time in sprouting! Sure, I was eating all organic, raw and vegan, and paid a ton of money for what was supposed to be good for me. But it became clear that what sounds good in principle is not necessarily practical for each individual. The raw-vegan movements are so hyped among a certain population in pursuit of maximum health and longevity, but it turns out that only a certain percentage of the population could actually benefit from it (mostly Type A’s, whose health would benefit greatly from cutting out red meat and eating mainly a vegetable-based diet, supplemented with some fish, poultry and eggs).

The lesson here is that I have to learn to listen to my body. Somehow, Dr. D’s work takes the guesswork out of the equation. And the more I learn how to eat according to my blood type, the more in tune I become with what my body really needs. In other words, the more this diet cleanses my body in a slow and steady fashion, the more I can connect a particular ailment or reaction to a particular kind of food. It is really fun to be able to put two and two together this way!

One important aspect of the diet for Type O individuals is that lean red meat, such as grass-fed beef and lamb, can actually aid digestion, burn fat and improve metabolism. They also provide a lot of important nutrients such as B12, which I sorely lacked during my vegan trial period, and which caused my anemia. I remember distinctly just how much better I felt the first week I introduced organic beef into my diet. Prior to that, I had terrible acid reflux for more than half a year–the worst ever in my life! But beef made that go away! Isn’t that amazing? The acid/alkaline diet would have said “No” to this as red meat is highly acidic! But, according to the Blood Type Diet, O’s have a high level of stomach acid, and red meat paradoxically helps control that. It also turned my anemia around completely.

I’m an all-or-nothing-kind of gal. So when I choose to adopt a principle in my everyday life, I tend to go full out without any reservations. Soon I realized that to benefit more from the diet, I had to find out about my secretor status. Within each blood type, the majority (about 80%) are secretors, meaning, their blood type characteristics are found in their bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat, semen or vaginal fluid; the rest are non-secretors, whose blood type characteristics are not expressed this way. I sent in a saliva sample to a lab in America and got back the results in about a week. Turned out I am a non-secretor. This further helps me to hone in on the types of food I should focus on and avoid.

So I checked the most updated online database of food values on Dr. D’s Website and found that there were a couple of food items that secretors can have but I can’t, including soy products, corn, sugar, oat, spelt flour, etc. For these losses I gained avocado, a favorite fruit mine–great! Well, there are quite a few more differences. Though not a lot, knowing them for sure helps me fine-tune my diet, especially since soy is a staple in the Chinese diet, oat was my favorite grain for breakfast and corn and corn-derived products are in almost all processed food and even “non-gluten” products. After cutting out soy products, I noticed that the excessive mucous in my throat and nose disappeared. Cutting out oat obviously made my tummy feel much better.

I also introduced many beneficial items like ghee (clarified butter), a couple of times of lean red meat a week and almost daily consumption of organic eggs as well as deep sea fatty fish like salmon, sardine and tuna. The increase in animal protein really made a big difference in how I felt. I was finally able to feel more “solid” on my feet, no more lightheadedness and constant hunger, my muscle tones improved a great deal and I didn’t gain weight from “all that meat”!

The best about this diet is that my tummy feels great, no more bloating, no more drowsiness after meals, everything seems to be digested properly and I have so much more energy than before–solid energy that lasts throughout the whole day. My metabolism has never worked this well since I was a little kid! Having suffered from digestive problems since the age of 13, can you imagine the relief that I got?

Was it a difficult transition from eating everything that was wrong for my type to everything that is compliant? Well, yes and no. As I had already cut out sugar, coffee, wheat and dairy prior to adopting the Blood Type Diet, or BTD (at the time when I started the acid/alkaline diet), it was not too difficult for me to add and subtract all the other foods that are less physically addictive. I also cut out most processed food and was by then also quite well trained in preparing food from scratch. I have always loved cooking, so it was not too bad of a transition, although I found myself spending more time in the kitchen.

The challenge with the BTD is that, I had to go very far in food sourcing as a lot of substitutes for the “Avoids” cannot be found in my country. The food bill increased, especially with all those high-quality meats and fish, but I truly believe in investing in health and spending the money on disease prevention and natural healing, rather than on doctor visits!

(to be continued….)

Summon the Past Happy Momories, and Make Them Your Reality NOW

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I got this light bulb moment this morning when saying my gratitude-prayer, a ritual that I do first thing after brushing my teeth and washing my face. I was giving thanks for my health, the abundance and bliss in my life, when all of a sudden I had some flashbacks of childhood memories. Memories of when everything was so perfect, smooth and effortless; memories of when I didn’t have to worry about what tomorrow brings, about failure, and about money.

Those were memories of when I was in grade school. All the way up until I was 11, I lived in a kind of bliss and success that is to die for in an adult’s standard. I was No. 1 in class every year, always the class leader and enjoyed immense popularity among my classmates. For these, I got the nickname of “Super Woman” in school. Not only did I do well in all subjects at school, I was also talented in art and in gymnastics. I was cute, active, playful and social.

Success, to me, was a given. I never had to worry about losing it or not living with it. I took it for granted. I even felt rich for the amount of money I saved in my piggy bank! In fact, my being No. 1 in class saved my parents my school tuitions for all those years. So my mom used to call me “Little Rich Lady.”

Because of the good start I had in my life, and the lack of failure or obstacles in those formative years, my world almost tumbled when my position in class fell to No. 2 and I started to get bitter and frustrated. I did make a come back the following term though and graduated with the top ranking in my class again.

Well, after that very first stumble, my life opened me up to a great many lessons of perseverance and resilience in the face of pain and hardship. However, what I want to focus on now, is that feeling of sailing on the waves of success, happiness and well-being. I was really lucky to have experienced that in my childhood. Somehow the feeling has been lost as I grew up, and unfortunately I spent too much time ruminating on the painful memories. And the more I did so, the more failures and heartbreaks I experienced. And the worse I felt, the more I tended to beat myself up–the vicious cycle continued.

Now I am going to make a U-turn and go back to those happy memories. I should not be afraid to embrace those feelings again, to feel that I am entitled to happiness and success again! As Louise Hay has said:

Dwelling on lack only creates more lack….. Gratitude thinking brings abundance.”

“If we want a joyous life, we must think joyous thoughts. Whatever we send out mentally or verbally will come back to us in like form.

By thinking and feeling the way I used to as a child–”invincible”–I am sure “miracles” will happen!

Let’s try this exercise and bring back those “perfect moments” in our lives, and breathe through them as if we were living those moments now.

P.S. Synchronicity–after publishing this entry and meditating, I picked up an Abraham card and it says:

As you focus on the best of what you do have, even if it is only a small part of your experience, the Law of Attraction will now bring you more of the essence of that. And so, you can replace a “downward spiral” with a fast-moving “upward spiral” by simply directing your thoughts more to things you do want.

The Shift

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2012 is off to a good start for me. My recent burnout episode gave me just the right impetus to search for what was missing in my life—a shift from an ego-based existence to one that is connected to the Source from whence I come. And what an opportune timing as I enter the fourth decade of my life.

The concept of the “shift” comes from Dr Wayne Dyer, whose film on the subject and accompanying book has greatly inspired me recently.

One of the key messages from his film/book is that we are not what we “have,” nor what we “do,” nor what “others think of us,” but the pure being that comes from “nothingness,” the great “Tao” as he phrases it in his work. In Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s words (which I experience intimately through my practice of Transcendental Meditation), this is analogous to “pure consciousness.”

The practice of the Tao involves daily diminishing
descreasing until nothing is being done.
When nothing is being done, ironically,
nothing can be left undone.

True mastery of the world can be attained
by allowing things to take their natural course.
It can never be attained by interfering.

~Lao-tzu, in “Tao Te Ching”

It’s so revealing to me when Dr. Dyer talks about how we, after nine months of gestation period (without having to do anything, just letting Nature take its course to create us), and as perfect creations when born, have been gradually taught by parents, teachers and the society to take on a false ego—which is a reflection of the collective consciousness and not our true, authentic selves. Toddlers and small children, before being “corrupted” by the false ego, still find joy in the pure being. Their happiness is not built upon what they own, what they have achieved and how their peers look upon them. As soon as they are taught that their self worth are dependent on these external things, they enter the “rat race” and (are told to) feel the need to compete with the rest of the world for the No. 1 position in whatever field that they are told to excel in, thus not following what their born “dharma” calls them to follow.

Animals are born to be what they are meant to be, nothing more, nothing less. We human beings are, however, born to be one thing--divine beings, and raised to be something we are not--our false ego.

Realizing the whole social construct is a cloak that shrouds our authentic selves, I suddenly have this awakening: the reason why I had been feeling increasingly bad about myself was because I was constantly comparing myself with others (especially in ballet) and depending on others’ approval to derive my happiness. When I couldn’t get those, my self-esteem plummeted. I had lost touch with my divine, glorious nature and my authentic self.

But in the past few weeks, when I gave myself the chance to relax and take a break from the environment that gave rise to my ill feelings about myself, I became ready to receive the wonderful messages from the Universe. For example, I came to understand that my physical body is not all that I am. It is a part of me that allows me to experience this journey in this particular time and space. I had been stressing myself too much to demand my body to be in a “perfect shape” according to the harsh standards of the ballet world. Of course I’m bound to be crushed as I age and as my fibroids grow. Maybe my fibroids are there to teach me this lesson! It’s a lesson to accept all of myself—including the “extreme” imperfections.

Also, the idea of non-interference really speaks to me. All my life, I have been indoctrinated and influenced by my mother that I can control everything in my life with my will. And I have such a strong will—pig-headed, almost—that I have been totally convinced that I can use my intelligence and wisdom to influence everybody around me and “make” them do what I believe is good for them. Alas, time and time again I have proven myself wrong. I got utterly frustrated, yet I hadn’t learned a bit.

Today, when I read the transcript of an interview of Dr. Oz by Oprah, I came across this line:

Dr. Oz: Oprah, you taught me this: People change based on what they feel, not what they know. Which means that understanding all that advice doesn’t matter if there’s no deep, profound, visceral awareness of why it’s important.

This is exactly what I need to hear at this juncture of my journey! Yes, I need to let go, and let each person follow the course of the Tao in their own pace. Things will happen at just the right time for each of us (this message also showed up in the film “The Shift”). This year, let me practice the skill of non-interference.

Someone by the name of Kristopher Raphael has written that 2012 is the “Year of Authenticity”:

Fears, holding back, and old patterns can no longer be tolerated in the age of authenticity. They are inauthentic. And, in the new world of authenticity, inauthentic aspects of self cannot be maintained. They vibrate too low. Those who continue to choose to live from immature, wounded aspects of self will, unfortunately, have a difficult time of it. Those who have the courage, will and intent to choose to live from their authenticity will step into an entirely new world of love, light and abundance.

I like that message. May 2012 be a year of healing and expansion of my authentic self.

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